So I’ve just left radar radio in London and i’m now on route Leeds on the train (boop boop virgin trains for the free wifi) I felt so compelled to write this post. Its was 2 years 2 days ago that I first started this blog with the hope it would help act as a tool to pick people up through their everyday lives and everyday struggles that we face.
In those 2 years I had a breakdown, detached from someone I believed I was in love with, waved Cameron (my son-for the new followers) off as he started big school, spoke at events, started to receive counselling, been on BBC extra radio, spoke on a panel in conjunction with MTV, launched the pick me up inc merchandise, thought I was going to fail and made friendships and connections with people I never could have dreamed of.
As a whole, the last 2 years have been the most soul destroying yet most vital part of my journey so far. It reminds me that where you are now is not where you are going to be. At times I honestly thought I wasn’t going to get through as I battled with past trauma’s. I felt so isolated, even in a room full of people. I was struggling in every aspect of my life. Friends, family, parenting, boys, money….OMG MONNNEYYYYY! STRESS! HAHA!
But I know now this was all to bring me to this point, this point where I can look at my life and say ‘nope it’s not perfect, but fukc yes I’m alive and i’m not giving up yet!’.
So many of you amazing humans message me daily telling me how Pick Me Up Inc has helped and honestly that means so much to me, I never planned to have a business, I never planned to share parts of me on the internet. It just happened and through that I have been able to connect and work with the most incredible people and help others. Which is what this is all about, we are living in a time where we should be so connected especially with social media etc but for some reason i’ve never felt the world so divided. Now more than ever we need to be there for one another.
This week I have found myself around people and in places that I have been preeing so so hard the last few years! haha! Never really giving it a thought that one day I will be sitting in a room where my opinion is getting taken in to consideration. This time last year I was flat on my face and literally not the happy go lucky Yas i’m used to, but I didn’t give up, i seemed help, I asked for help and when the help was offered I showed up and drowned in it allowing my healing to start.
We have all become so consumed with looking amazing yet do we feel amazing? So consumed with how much we ‘look’ like we are on our grind but are we really hustling? So consumed with appealing to others are we even appealing to ourselves?
I asked myself these questions last year and my honest answer was no. I didn’t like who I was anymore, actually scrap that…I didn’t even know who I was. But I allowed myself to break and build myself back up. If i’m honest I still struggle now though and there are times where I fear having a down day because i’m scared to go back to that place but acceptance that I will never be rid of it is what has helped me, I think anyone who says they can get rid of your anxiety chat shit because for as long as you are growing and experiencing life, your anxiety or depression will be there BUT you will better equipped to deal with it and manage it. Im no expert and I don’t claim to know it all, I can only speak from my truth and if that resonates then dope, if not thats fine too. I hope anyone reading this going through something will find the strength to keep going, find the strength to seek help. Take your mask off, be honest and be you.
Thank you to you if you have ever showed support to myself or pick me up and thank you if this is the first time you are clicking this page.
Lots of love and light as always.