Good evening beautiful being,
I hope you have had an amazing weekend and you are getting ready to chill and enjoy the last few hours before the brand new week begins:) This weeks Monday Motivation is
all about confidence and self esteem, what it is and how you can build it. I hope that this post will have you feeling confident and ready to kick Mondays butt!
Confidence is believing in your ability to do something, it is not something that you can buy or borrow. Confidence is born in your mindset, it also goes hand in hand with self esteem. Self esteem is how you view yourself. When you have a healthy self esteem, your views and beliefs about yourself are generally positive, and so is your outlook on life. Even when you face challenging times you can bounce back without allowing the situation to stop you long term. On the other hand when you have a low self esteem you can often feel bad about yourself, highlighting your weaknesses and more often than not blaming yourself for the difficult times and failures in your life.
I could identify with having low self esteem at a point in my life, always seeking validation from others and taking things personal that really had nothing to do with me. For me to have the strength to convert that negative energy into something positive I had to know the source of these feelings.
It would be impossible to pick just one reason to why someone could end up having low self esteem but here are a few I could think of:
- A childhood experience (violence, abuse, neglect, grief)
- The media (magazines,social media, TV)
- Parents (comparing you to friends or even themselves as a child)
- Friends (putting you down, feeling like the odd one out)
- Family (comparing to other family members, never good enough)
- Grief (loss of a loved one, dealing with regret)
HOW SMALL STEPS CREATE BIG OUTCOMES:
Focusing on positive things when you are feeling low or unenthusiastic can feel scary and even exhausting just thinking about it but its best to remember great things take time and practice. I have found ways to create a more positive and motivating outlook on life when dealing with self esteem and self confidence and these are also definitely good to use when about to face a Monday morning.
Recognise and do more of what you are good at: it boosts self esteem and confidence so keep doing what your good at no matter what others think.
Build and maintain healthy relationships: they say you become like those around you, no doubt we can all got through a hard time but be careful of those who are constantly hating life, they will bring you down too! Be around people that believe in you, motivate you and inspire you to be the best version of you.
When going through a challenging time try not to indulge in negative thoughts: It’s so easy when we are going through a challenge to think of all the negative outcomes but this will only make it worse, switch your attention to something else. Just like when you know you’ve cut out cakes on a diet and you start to think about eating cake, you think or do something else to snap out of it, the same applies to negative thinking in a tough situation.
Contribute to something: Giving and making a difference boosts self esteem, go out of your way to make someone else’s day better and see how you feel after:)
Be yourself: Always be you, unforgivably imperfectly perfectly you:) As they say you was born an original don’t die a copy
Being assertive and learn to say no: Oh wow this has taken me forever to put this in to practice and I still have trouble now. But being assertive and knowing your boundaries and when to say no leaves you feeling so much more in control of your life. Theres nothing worse than saying yes to something and feeling like a pushover when deep down you know you should have just politely said no.
Self appearance: Now, being too self conscious can lead you to feeling insecure and we know this BUT theres a thin line between being too self conscious and just caring about your appearance. Studies have said that in the first 30 seconds of meeting you, people are taking in your appearance, not what you’re saying, not that you are a millionaire with a baby range or not that you just travelled the world singing hi low chicalow..no they are looking at how you are presented. Now I’m not saying grab your credit card and run to louis vuitton, what I am saying is just to take pride in the way you are presented. Brushed hair or shaved whatever as long as its neat (unless you’re going for the messy bun or wild mane;) but make sure your clothes are ironed, you look at people when you speak to them, maintain eye contact (not in a scary way may I add) stand up straight (bad posture is the worst) and have clean nails. Just a basic I look after myself appearance. I find when I look good I feel good and when I feel crap, throwing on my favourite jeans and painting my nails can change my confidence from 5 to 10.
Read: Books are my oxygen and considering paper is made from trees it would make sense;) get it? ha-ha (queue cricket noises) Yep that is why I never did stand up.lol! No but honestly, some of my best nights have been when indulged in a good read (sorry friends). I normally find when Im going through something reading helps me find the answers I need. Reading books such as ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’ By Susan Jeffers and ‘The Way of The Spiritual Warrior’ By Dan Millman gave me the most confidence and lust for life. READ READ READ!!!
Sleep: When I don’t sleep properly or I go to bed too late I wake up groggy or not in enough time to prepare for the day properly, therefore leaving me feeling less confident and unprepared for what is ahead. All of sudden watching back to back youtube videos of Ekhart Tolle wasn’t such a good idea, no matter how inspiring they were. I need my sleep and so do you! Try burning incense oils just before bed as well, smells can influence your mood so much more than you think.
Exercise and Diet: So as we know or may not know exercise releases endorphins, a chemical that not only reduces your perception of pain but also triggers a positive feeling. How amazing?! That by exercising we can make ourselves feel better (after the pain of course.lol) Our diet also has a lot to answer for when it comes to our moods. (check one of our pick&mix post on ‘FOOD FOR MOODS’By Hipster Veggie) Every morning (well nearly every morning) I aim to get up half an hr earlier to exercise and it makes all the difference to my day.
If you already have healthy self esteem and confidence then find other ways to uplift others. I started Pick Me Up Inc to motivate and pick myself up and during the process I was able to help others. All I needed was my thoughts and the internet! HA-HA!
I always use myself as an example, its crazy to think just 2 years ago I was always out partying, making any excuse not to go home, drinking loads, self harming and ending up at friends crying my eyes out about past experiences. I still go out and have fun but I am no longer running from anything.
If I have learnt anything in these last 2 years it is that we create our lives. I know what I disliked about myself and I set out to change it and to eliminate and add what I needed. Mindfulness, meditation, exercise and now gymnastics are all what have kept me going, not to mention my cheeky son Cameron.
My self confidence and self esteem are getting there and I guess they will always be a work in progress. Tonight I will write my intentions for the day ahead and what I am grateful for. Please never forget the last few hours of thoughts are what marinates in your subconscious for the next 7-8 hours of sleep so make it positive.
Happy Sunday and have an even happier and positive Monday tomorrow! Lets aspire to inspire. Be confident and build on our self esteems.
YOU ARE IMPORTANT AND YOU CAN DO IT!