Hey beautiful being,
This week has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs and like most people when I’m going through a hard time I think back to all my hard times. Sometimes this can be motivating and other times it can drag up old feelings about the past. For me this week a lot came up about my childhood, I was apart of a household with domestic violence. You don’t realise how much DV can affect the child because here I am a 24 year old young woman still dealing with the invisible scars, yet determined to not be a prisoner of my past.
I wanted to write this post to say its ok to have different emotions towards your past, but it is also very important to address them, sit with them and understand them because if you don’t they will destroy you. As someone who used to self harm it is a constant battle not to retreat back to that angry, scared and sad person but I use different coping mechanisms and wanted to share them with you.
WHEN PAST EMOTIONS COME KNOCKING
1. Answer the door! Sit with the emotions that are coming up, listen to yourself.
2.Jot down in your journal how you feel (If you don’t have a journal get one ASAP!)
3.Call a family member, friend or seek professional help. Honestly, DON’T bottle it up. Seek help and confide in somebody. You don’t have to be ashamed or embarrassed. Even if it was years and years ago, your feelings count and there is help out there.
4. Cry if you need.
Those are 4 simple steps, but steps that can make a big impact. Im one of those people who find it so hard to confide in people especially as I am the one who is normally there for others. But we are all human and we have to learn to hold our hands up and admit when we are down or need some support.
You are not your past, you are not a victim and you are not what happened to you. You deserve happiness and you deserve to feel free. Life isn’t all easy and sweet, no it can be bitter and challenging but I do believe it is our birth right to find happiness and I believe each and everyone of us has a choice to create the life we deserve, that is the beauty of it. You are so powerful and you are stronger than you think.
I hope this post brings you some comfort, people look at me and assume I’ve had a happy, easy life. I haven’t. I’ve worked hard to become the person I am today and fighting the demons of the past. I want you to know that you won’t arrive at a state of happiness and just forget it all. You won’t. But you will learn to live with it and not let it feed off of your present. Arriving at a state where you can accept that things were crap but realise how far you have come and how far you still have to go. You will find a certain kind of peace and you can laugh and enjoy life once more.
I am living proof that you can do this, because here I am pioneering a company to pick people up because that’s what I needed at the time. I turnt my negative into power and my power into purpose. I’m still learning and making mistakes but at least I get to share them with you all and help in any way I can. You will smile again, that I promise.
Wishing you all the best on your journey.