Grow through what you go through-even the crap

Hey guys!

So I was supposed to launch #MOONCHILDWAY next week with some cool photos and post about how I deal with anxiety and mumming it (will still come) BUT today Cam finished school and said goodbye to YEAR 1….woo-woo! SCHOOLS OUT! And although we are smiling here…..

…honestly this year has by far been the TOUGHEST year and I fully questioned if I was made out of the right stuff for this mum life! I was a full on single parent (i’ve always co-parented before), working part time and running Pick Me Up, Cameron was behind in class which pushed him more in to low self esteem within class and not wanting to try at all, he wouldn’t eat and eventually started to have panic attacks which lead me into taking him out of school for a few days. Those that know Cam personally know what a vibrant soul he is sorhis was literally soul destroying for me to see and experience with him. Other things contributed to his emotions and I guess I wanted to write this post for anyone that has ended this school year maybe feeling a bit meh or had a few struggles and thinks they are the only one.


With praise, love and a few changes at home I have seen a massive change in Cam and his behaviour in school. Its so easy to get frustrated but I have seen that isn’t the answer. I took more time to do extra work with Cam at home, really really praised him when he got it right and also clapped for his mistakes (that is how we learn after all) I really learnt to speak life into him and champion him. I think we sometimes forget they are just little humans learning.

We are still struggling with food but taking each day as it comes and I’m hoping that we can try some fun and exciting places over the summer holidays and also do more kids cooking at home whilst he is off.

I guess this was just me saying every kid is different and whilst Cams school report said he was ‘working towards expected level’ academically words like spiritual, energy, loving, caring and curious was used through out. And I am happy about that. Don’t be too hard on yourself and most of all don’t be too hard on them.

I feel overwhelmed with emotion as I write this because I really questioned at one point if we would get through this year at all, but here we are. WE MADE IT! And I just wanted to send you all the good vibes and energy and to let you know that you can make it too! Im not perfect and I’m winging it just like everybody else. We in it together and i’ve got you. I don’t know you but you are reading this so we connected now. lol!

This is me and cam. Unfiltered, bushy hair and smiling… may the vibe continue! 

Enjoy your holidays lovely’s…

Love&light always


An open letter to the girl who loves too much

An open letter to the girl who loves too much.

To you,
To the girl who laughs a little too loud, who wears her heart on her sleeve, smiles even though she could have been crying last night and loves like she’s never been hurt.

The last guy left without saying goodbye and here you are yet again learning to turn your pain into power and accept an apology you never received.
You question was you too much? How did he just change his mind? Was it something you said? Did you smother him? You have been left unbalanced and you’re trying not to fall.

I mean he made out he liked you so you of course followed his lead. But babygirl if I could say anything to you now it would be that just because he started playing his song you didn’t have to dance to his beat.

I’m not saying it’s your fault, I’m sure you’ve done nothing wrong except for yet again love another man that has come along. People can only meet you as deep as they have met themselves.

You feel silly for thinking he could be the ‘one’, you look at old pictures- big smiles and good vibes and you question was it all a lie? Are you a fool? Is he laughing at you?

You torment yourself and start to pick at your flaws, you then somehow convince yourself it is your fault, you deserved it, you was too easy or maybe you think you asked too many questions? Maybe you opened up too quick? Did you share too much? Now you feel embarrassed, gave away your secrets to somebody who doesn’t even care to look your way.

But whilst all of this is whirling around your mind I ask you one thing… when you are truly happy within yourself do you just go around destroying things? No you don’t. So whilst you may feel angry, hurt maybe even regretting ever being involved with them. Just know the issue doesn’t really lay with you.

You showed up just being you and maybe it was too much, maybe your love was too real but anyone you are too much for just isn’t for you. So don’t sit and start wondering how you can change. Looking at the timeline wanting to look like ‘her’ you look like you and you are enough. Perfectly imperfect just how you were intended to be.

Send love to those who have hurt you, forgive not because they deserve it but because you deserve peace of mind. So to you the girl who loves too much, don’t you dare now hide. Take your time and heal but please don’t let anybody who doesn’t know how to love fool you into thinking that this is what love is.

I see you in a few months, you think about him less and you smile more but every so often your mind will wonder to the boy who left with no explanation. You may even miss him, that’s fine but don’t confuse missing someone with needing to have them in your life. Love from a distance and forgive whole heartedly. Let yourself be free.

To the girl who loves too much….

Just know you can never love too much.




“I think certain preconceptions of being mixed race have made me feel a little isolated. Especially when it comes to my hair. I love to experiment and I remember when I was about 14-15 I got ‘pick and drop’ a braided hair style. I remember another black girl my age commenting, questioning why I was having that hairstyle and again claiming that mixed race girls are confused. I’ve never felt so uncomfortable in my life and was even more confused as a lot of the other black girls were European weaves, I remember thinking, why is it ok for them and not me? Because my skin tone is so fair its as if I wasn’t ‘black enough’ to rock that hairstyle.

My complexion was always an issue for people in school. Constant questions about where U was from and if I was really mixed race. I will never forget some people still didn’t believe I was mixed even when my dad came to parents evening.

I literally used to wear fake tan every day to try and the colour I was ‘supposed’ to. Which is actually sad when I think back to it.

When I was in primary school my cousin on my fathers side asked if I pretended I was white at school. That left me a little confused and made me question ‘is that what I should be doing?’ I also remember feeling a little too yellow for my mums side and a little too light for my dads side. I stuck out like a sore thumb in family photos and I think that was hard for me to get my head around growing up, learning and accepting that I was different.

The main thing I struggled with growing up was the idea that one side of my ancestors enslaved the other and I questioned my right to be angry and if my opinion was still valid for a mixed race girl ‘privileged’ with lighter skin. The moment I got called a ‘nig nog’ I knew I had every right to be angry. You don’t have to be of black heritage to be angry about racism or slavery.

I was confused at being called ‘half-caste’ as I had never thought of myself as half of anything. I found it was society’s perception of me that made me question what box I fit into and other’s comments that made me feel like I was neither here nor there. But growing up I’ve realised I don’t have to choose. I’m not half of anything. I am two wholes and I love both wholeheartedly. I feel when you’re mixed, there’s this box you have to stay in and if you come out you’re deemed confused.”

5 tips to realign yourself when your week is going shit

Hey beautiful human,

Yes you, beautiful, with your flaws and all. I firstly wanted to congratulate you, another week, we made it! Even if last week was a complete disaster we’ve been given the chance to go again!

Last week for me personally was a mess. lol! But i remained focused and didn’t let it completely take over, so this week’s Monday motivation is all about my top 5 tips on how i remained aligned when having such a shit week. 🙂 (more…)

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