Monday Motivation- You got this!

Oprah Winfrey seen onstage at 2014 Santa Barbara International Film Festival - Montecito Award ceremony on Wednesday, Feb, 5, 2014 in Santa Barbara, Calif. (Photo by Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP)

Good morning guys!

It’s Monday, and here in London its raining (shock!) for some its the first day back to work after the weekend and for parents the first day back to the school run, I know secretly some are like woo woo after a week of mess and mayhem trying to keep the kids entertained. (I feel you! ha-ha)

Yesterday I had the pleasure of delivering workshops based on self love to girls and women from the ages of 5-31. I came home and started watching all sorts on women empowerment and stumbled across this short but effective video on youtube.

I hope this video Im going to share with you inspires you as it did me! If you’re a male reader I believe you can gage something also but please show your daughters, send to your partners or friends. Any woman you know that may need that little reminder that they have got this! We all fail, we all lack self care at some point but thats not a reason to give up! Enjoy and share share share!

Love&Light Always

Y.E.x

Monday Motivation – Denzel has got a message for you this morning!  

“Utilise that gift, don’t abuse that gift, treasure it”-Denzel Washington

Hey hey!

Monday morning, wiping the sleep from your eye thinking ‘Where did the weekend go?’ (Input distraught face) butttt this morning I wanted to share this wicked video from Denzel Washington speaking on goals and dreams.

Now let’s be honest, we all have dreams, we all have goals we wish to attain, nobody wants to look back in 5-6 years and see no growth. But we can want all we want, it going to take action, dedication, consistency and discipline to make anything happen.

I hope that you get something out of this video and be sure to know that YOUR dreams can be turned in to reality, when your heart is in it you already have it, it’s just for you to decide how far you want to take it.

Enjoy! Share with a loved one and let’s motivate one another to the top!

Love&Light Always

‘Broken from the beginning’

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Broken from the beginning?

There’s one ultimate thing that we all want deep down…LOVE

To love and to be loved.

This is something that weighs heavy on my heart but something that I don’t speak on often enough.

Right so let’s start from the beginning. I was born twenty something years ago and raised by a single mum. I never really asked too many questions about my dad, to be honest not having a dad seemed normal to me. When I did become inquisitive about it my mum was very honest she said “I gave your dad 2 options:

1. Stay and raise these girls with me or

2. Leave and let me raise them alone”

Yep he chose the latter.

Anyway, growing up I witnessed and knew of a lot of domestic violence within my family home and from close family friends. That was it, I made up my mind “I’m never getting married, men are horrible”, I didn’t have a positive male in my life and believed there was no such thing. I would go to school friend’s houses and be scared of speaking to their dad, I would rarely stay at a friend’s house if she had a dad because I thought that whilst we were sleeping, I would hear their parents fighting and furniture breaking.

During my teenage years, I spent more time fighting with boys than caring about who liked me, I never saw it as an issue. Fast forward a few years and I started to look at the relationship of boys and girls differently. My friends started to get into long term relationships and having babies. I was still there chilling, I would speak to people for a while but it never seemed to ‘work out’.

Now I’m going to explain what I mean by ‘Broken from the beginning’. My friends that were and still are in long term relationships, literally all have a positive father figure in their lives, and I deeply believe that this has a huge impact on our future relationships. They are shown first hand nurturing and positive relations between a mother and father, they know what to look for in a man and how they should be respected treated. Without that, how are we taught to be loved, not liked but loved, taught that men should elevate their women, not hit on them?

It’s a concept that I’m still trying to come to terms with and as of late it’s something that I want to understand, accept and grow with. My personal past relationships have reflected my experiences, through casual relationships/ situationships, being unbothered and being pessimistic about a new guy. I’m often told things like ‘Oh you’re too unemotional’, ‘you’re too independent, let him do things for you’, ‘you didn’t tell me you felt that way’. Don’t be fooled, I’m super sensitive and very emotional, I just keep it to myself.

Truth is I’m fucking scared. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to feel and I don’t know what to say. I never knew love from a man, my mum taught me how to value myself and her relationships taught me what to not look for in a man, but can a woman really teach a girl everything?

In my opinion, NO.

Now I’m here trying to gather the fact that not all men are the same regardless of what I’ve seen and its now down to me to be open and learn how to accept love. Sometimes we’ve got to let go of the past and our perceptions and grow, love is out there for all of us!

And every day I speak to the universe that when I have a daughter, she will be a daddy’s girl and together we will raise her to be valued and loved unconditionally and not to be broken from the beginning!

Anonymous x

Monday Motivation: ‘I love living. It is infectious’-Will Smith

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 ‘Just decide. What its going to be. Who you’re going to be. How you’re going to do it’ 

Will Smith

Good rising Kings and Queens,

Its Monday, you not only have a new day and a new week you have a new month. I wanted to share with you guys a video of all of Will Smith’s best interviews and speeches where he gives us real gems on becoming successful and emotionally happier with our lives.

It served as a reminder to me that the difference between the US and the UK is the US believe in the unimaginable. From a young age they are told you can do and be anything you want no matter where you come from. I feel here in the UK we are more limited and structured. We don’t believe our dreams are realistic enough and like Will Smith says in this video ‘Being realistic is the most common travelled road to mediocrity’.

This is your Monday message to say IT IS OK TO DREAM BIG, BELIEVE IN THE UNREALISTIC AND PUSH UNTIL YOU GET THERE! You have this one life in this body, why are you playing safe?

Have an amazing one guys!

Enjoy. Love & Light.

Y.E.x

Monday Motivation- No jump, no flight.

  
 Good rising kings and queens,

It’s Monday, some of you are jumping for joy and some of you, well actually probably most of you are longing to ring the boss and say ‘Today is cancelled, I will be in tomorrow’. But there’s money to be made and bills to be paid right?! Not to mention that holiday you need to book ASAP! 

But before you roll into a ball of negativity and resent for this Monday morning I wanted to share with you a video I sent out to my friends this week. It was a video that left me pumped and although already embarking on a business adventure just gave me that extra motivation I needed (believe me WE ALL FALL OFF SOMETIMES!). Steve Harvey, internationally known for being a comedian is also well known for his very inspiring advice and thoughts. Through books, such as ‘Think Like A Man, Act Like A Lady’ (also a major film), tv and radio shows Mr Harvey has made his mark and really does have a way with words and the ability to make you think. 

Just remember, today is a new week, a new day and a chance to change your life. You are stronger than you think and to make the jump from great to greater. I will say no more and let Mr Harvey work his magic and I am confident you will start today with a completely different attitude. 

Enjoy!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yFltqHCTTVo#action=share
Love&Light Always

Y.E.x

Dear Diary..

Hey guys,

So I’ve named this blog post Dear Diary because thats exactly where I felt like I was writing. Lol. 

So it’s been a year since a close family friend commited suicide and it had me thinking that whilst most are in high spirits around this time of year, not everybody is. 

A time where if you have lost somebody or don’t have family or even friends it seems now it would be highlighted and you could feel more isolated and alone than ever. If this is you please please know you’re not alone, if you’re reading this that means you have access to the Internet which is a great start for reaching out to people. You can find clubs or classes that may be great for you to join. Or even if it’s reaching out to a friend, sometimes you have to put your ego to the side and do it. Ask for help. 

I remember last year feeling more alone than ever as I was changing and so was my lifestyle and although I love and adore my friends there were certain conversations that I just couldn’t have with them. That’s where Instagram came in and I was blessed to be connected with so many like minded people and people I could also learn from. It’s all about reaching out. I also started going to boot camp and now I go to gymnastics (btw I am not flexible and fall flat on my face most of the time! Haha) but I’ve made some life long friends, not to mention feeling fitter and healthier. I now have 1-1 yoga with a beautiful young lady who again I also feel will be in my life for a very long time. It’s all about pushing your comfort zone and getting out there.

I’ve also recently felt there is so much pressure amongst us to make next year so much better than this one. Which don’t get me wrong isn’t necessarily wrong but I know some of my friends feel super lost and don’t even know where to begin and I for one started to feel overwhelmed with how I could top this year, which will be hard. 

To help me with my new year I sat down and wrote where I want to be this time next year, what I would have wanted to accomplish. Now don’t be afraid to aim high! Last year I wrote I wanted to be on radio and be in a magazine amongst other stuff but please believe both of those came true! 

The key is to be gentle but honest with yourself, focus on you and your growth. Don’t worry too much on how far your friend is getting, instead use their journey for inspiration rather than allowing it to put you down or make you feel like you are under achieving.   

If you have past issues then I would always recommend speaking to somebody or finding a positive outlet, I’m yet to have counselling but I’ve realised my outlet is anything to do with exercise and meditation. So I make time for these. I’m a mother, a single one at that, I work part time, run pick me up inc but still find time to do things I know I love. I have battled with self harming since I was 11 and so I know it is vital to find time to do things that allow me to release any tension or negative energy.

I wrote this post this evening because it’s been weighing heavy on my heart that we put too much pressure on ourselves to have it all together and that alone can make us feel down or like we are not doing enough. 

You don’t have to feel alone, you are powerful and so much stronger than you think. Every day is your day. Reach out and get the support you need. Never be embarrassed or afraid. 

Love&Light Always.

Y.E.x

  

Take time


Hey hey!

I haven’t posted on here for a while, what with the festive period upon us and demands going through the roof! I hope you have enjoyed the time off whether you celebrate Christmas or not:)

I was just thinking about all the times I’ve had a great idea and then rushed the process and it not work out. So this is a post about learning to take time!

One thing I’ve learnt since doing PickMeUpInc is the art of patience and taking my time with things, I would always have these amazing ideas and put them into action and not have enough to back up what I had started.

A quick example is when I started my interviews on YouTube, real life stories with real life people. It started off great and feedback was amazing but I hadn’t done enough before I started putting the videos out which because of my workload with PickMeUp already lead to a backlog of work rather than being ahead of schedule. For now I’ve stopped until I have enough material and time to edit to put out there again.

I’ve learnt since then that when starting anything to ensure I have enough in the pipeline and I’ve organised it all properly. There is nothing worse than knowing something didn’t go right because u didn’t prepare.

Rushing is the manifestation of fear, what are you so afraid of? And if the answer is nothing then slow down.
Don’t rush the process, take your time, have faith and keep believing. Run your own race and don’t focus on anybody else’s lane but your own.

Enjoy the rest of your day. Love and light always.

Y.E.x

MONDAY MOTIVATION- How to build self esteem and confidence!

Good evening beautiful being,

SELF ESEET

I hope you have had an amazing weekend and you are getting ready to chill and enjoy the last few hours before the brand new week begins:) This weeks Monday Motivation is all about confidence and self esteem, what it is and how you can build it. I hope that this post will have you feeling confident and ready to kick Mondays butt!

Confidence is believing in your ability to do something, it is not something that you can buy or borrow. Confidence is born in your mindset, it also goes hand in hand with self esteem. Self esteem is how you view yourself. When you have a healthy self esteem, your views and beliefs about yourself are generally positive, and so is your outlook on life. Even when you face challenging times you can bounce back without allowing the situation to stop you long term. On the other hand when you have a low self esteem you can often feel bad about yourself, highlighting your weaknesses and more often than not blaming yourself for the difficult times and failures in your life.

WHAT CAUSES LOW

I could identify with having low self esteem at a point in my life, always seeking validation from others and taking things personal that really had nothing to do with me. For me to have the strength to convert that negative energy into something positive I had to know the source of these feelings.

It would be impossible to pick just one reason to why someone could end up having low self esteem but here are a few I could think of:

  1. A childhood experience (violence, abuse, neglect, grief)
  2. The media (magazines,social media, TV)
  3. Parents (comparing you to friends or even themselves as a child)
  4. Friends (putting you down, feeling like the odd one out)
  5. Family (comparing to other family members, never good enough)
  6. Grief (loss of a loved one, dealing with regret)

 

 

 

 

YOU CAN AND U WILL

HOW SMALL STEPS CREATE BIG OUTCOMES:

Focusing on positive things when you are feeling low or unenthusiastic can feel scary and even exhausting just thinking about it but its best to remember great things take time and practice. I have found ways to create a more positive and motivating outlook on life when dealing with self esteem and self confidence and these are also definitely good to use when about to face a Monday morning.

Recognise and do more of what you are good at: it boosts self esteem and confidence so keep doing what your good at no matter what others think.

Build and maintain healthy relationships: they say you become like those around you, no doubt we can all got through a hard time but be careful of those who are constantly hating life, they will bring you down too! Be around people that believe in you, motivate you and inspire you to be the best version of you.

When going through a challenging time try not to indulge in negative thoughts: It’s so easy when we are going through a challenge to think of all the negative outcomes but this will only make it worse, switch your attention to something else. Just like when you know you’ve cut out cakes on a diet and you start to think about eating cake, you think or do something else to snap out of it, the same applies to negative thinking in a tough situation.

Contribute to something: Giving and making a difference boosts self esteem, go out of your way to make someone else’s day better and see how you feel after:)

Be yourself: Always be you, unforgivably imperfectly perfectly you:) As they say you was born an original don’t die a copy

Being assertive and learn to say no: Oh wow this has taken me forever to put this in to practice and I still have trouble now. But being assertive and knowing your boundaries and when to say no leaves you feeling so much more in control of your life. Theres nothing worse than saying yes to something and feeling like a pushover when deep down you know you should have just politely said no.

Self appearance: Now, being too self conscious can lead you to feeling insecure and we know this BUT theres a thin line between being too self conscious and just caring about your appearance. Studies have said that in the first 30 seconds of meeting you, people are taking in your appearance, not what you’re saying, not that you are a millionaire with a baby range or not that you just travelled the world singing hi low chicalow..no they are looking at how you are presented. Now I’m not saying grab your credit card and run to louis vuitton, what I am saying is just to take pride in the way you are presented. Brushed hair or shaved whatever as long as its neat (unless you’re going for the messy bun or wild mane;) but make sure your clothes are ironed, you look at people when you speak to them, maintain eye contact (not in a  scary way may I add) stand up straight (bad posture is the worst) and have clean nails. Just a basic I look after myself appearance. I find when I look good I feel good and when I feel crap, throwing on my favourite jeans and painting my nails can change my confidence from 5 to 10.

Read: Books are my oxygen and considering paper is made from trees it would make sense;) get it? ha-ha (queue cricket noises) Yep that is why I never did stand up.lol!  No but honestly, some of my best nights have been when indulged in a good read (sorry friends). I normally find when Im going through something reading helps me find the answers I need. Reading books such as ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’ By Susan Jeffers and ‘The Way of The Spiritual Warrior’ By Dan Millman gave me the most confidence and lust for life. READ READ READ!!!

Sleep: When I don’t sleep properly or I go to bed too late I wake up groggy or not in enough time to prepare for the day properly, therefore leaving me feeling less confident and unprepared for what is ahead. All of sudden watching back to back youtube videos of Ekhart Tolle wasn’t such a good idea, no matter how inspiring they were. I need my sleep and so do you! Try burning incense oils just before bed as well, smells can influence your mood so much more than you think.

Exercise and Diet: So as we know or may not know exercise releases endorphins, a chemical that not only reduces your perception of pain but also triggers a positive feeling. How amazing?! That by exercising we can make ourselves feel better (after the pain of course.lol)  Our diet also has a lot to answer for when it comes to our moods. (check one of our pick&mix post on ‘FOOD FOR MOODS’By Hipster Veggie) Every morning (well nearly every morning) I aim to get up half an hr earlier to exercise and it makes all the difference to my day.

 

LOVE AND HONESTE

If you already have healthy self esteem and confidence then find other ways to uplift others. I started Pick Me Up Inc to motivate and pick myself up and during the process I was able to help others. All I needed was my thoughts and the internet! HA-HA!

I always use myself as an example, its crazy to think just 2 years ago I was always out partying, making any excuse not to go home, drinking loads, self harming and ending up at friends crying my eyes out about past experiences. I still go out and have fun but I am no longer running from anything.

If I have learnt anything in these last 2 years it is that we create our lives. I know what I disliked about myself and I set out to change it and to eliminate and add what I needed. Mindfulness, meditation, exercise and now gymnastics are all what have kept me going, not to mention my cheeky son Cameron.

My self confidence and self esteem are getting there and I guess they will always be a work in progress. Tonight I will write my intentions for the day ahead and what I am grateful for. Please never forget the last few hours of thoughts are what marinates in your subconscious for the next 7-8 hours of sleep so make it positive.

Happy Sunday and have an even happier and positive Monday tomorrow! Lets aspire to inspire. Be confident and build on our self esteems.

YOU ARE IMPORTANT AND YOU CAN DO IT!

Love&Light Always

Y.E.x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be your own cheerleader! 

 

Evening guys!

 

Today I am going to talk to ya’ll about the importance of being your own cheerleader!

 

If you read my blog posts/insta posts you will notice I speak quite a lot about self-love. It is a topic so close to my heart; I truly believe it can fix a lot of issues in our lives.

 

US:

Our minds are so powerful. Sometimes one negative thought can tarnish great things from happening. But one positive thought … well one positive thought could create anything you want.

 

We are often scared to praise ourselves at a risk of seeming egotistical. But we are so quick to praise others. Now whilst there is nothing wrong with praising others, why are we putting their achievements ahead of ours? Why are we not congratulating ourselves first? We are humans with feelings too. We need love and appreciation just as much as those around us. And giving it to ourselves is probably the best thing we can do.

 

It is so imperative to innerstand that we do not need anything or anyone but ourselves to validate our worth. If you have just achieved something amazing, tell yourself how amazing you are! Validation from others is great but validation from yourself to yourself is priceless. Nothing can top being your own cheerleader!

 

Manifest your dreams, create your own realities, make the world a better place and be your own cheerleader.

 

Remember boo boo’s, if no one stops to admire the stars, they will still glow. If no one recognises you, you will still grow!

 

All the best,

 

Jez xoxox

‘AMOR’ A magazine worth reading!

Hey beautiful people!

Sooooo this one is for my ladies but fear not if you are a guy you could also read on and see how you can hook your woman up with a magazine definitely worth reading!

I had given up on standard high street magazines, the unrealistic diets, the pressure to look good all the time and also the lack of variety when it came to ethnicity. It was safe to say I would only end up half reading the magazine as I skimmed through pages of boring gossip. Since when was it a highlight to see who had put on weight and who was cheating on who? Someone else who had given up and felt that they couldn’t relate was Ruby Mae Moore, she also wanted to create a platform for young creatives to break into the media industry and felt that AMOR could do that for them. Aiming to offer young people work experience and seeing a gap in the market for a magazine for the young woman filled with positivity, variety and beauty then was born AMOR!

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I got my hands on a copy of AMOR when I met Ruby in 2014 and I haven’t looked back since. Jam packed with beauty tips FOR ALL races something I definitely feel other branded magazines lack. The normal girly gossip on first dates and fashion. Restaurant, spa and holiday reviews. How to holiday on a budget and also splurge. Relationship tips, music industry latest and always an amazing cover story. AMOR offers everything!

  My favourite section has to be the lifestyle which is always packed with ways to improve yourself as a person whether it is time management, tips on becoming successful, boosting your career search, tips to saving money and much much more. I also remember an article all based on how to job search successfully, giving advice on your CV and tips on applying online. This is the first magazine I’ve read that fully pushes you to go for goal. Also having interviews with inspirational women like ‘Charlene White’ journalist and newsreader for ITN this is the kind of magazine young women should be reading to inspire them to strive for success and look pretty whilst doing it:)

I admire Ruby for birthing the idea of AMOR and her and her team have done it proud so far. I hope to see AMOR on the shelves in main high street stores as I feel this is the kind of material young women should be reading instead of the self hate, self conscious stuff they read from day to day.

Ruby and her team have found the balance between sexy and sophisticated and I love that about AMOR!

Subscribe now for just £14.99 for the year! Or £3 for one copy! I promise you won’t be disappointed.

http://amormagazine.co.uk/subscription/

Written by the young woman for the young woman, let’s support what the UK has to offer and help mould and shape our future queens.

Love&Light Always

Y.E x

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